Tough Love
1 Corinthians
13:1-8
Let’s face it…some people are easy to love
-either they are beautiful
-or they are like you
-or they are nice to you
We’ve been doing this loving thing for so long that we have it down to
a
science—so much so that we can see someone for only a few
seconds
and in that amount of time be able to make a judgment
about
whether or not we could love that person
-isn’t that uncanny?
--I’ve known
her for her
birthday next week
--but I can see a photo of
someone I’ve never met and instantly
determine
if I deem him or her as “lovable” or “not lovable”
Allow me to prove my point à [slide show]
Raise your hand if you saw someone and thought: “easy to love”
Raise your hand if you saw someone and thought: “tough to love”
Raise your hand if you saw someone and thought: “I’m sorry, but at
this
point it would simply be impossible for me to love.”
It’s true—someone people are
easier to love than others
-their personality, their
demeanor, their attitude make them lovable
But the “others”?
-well, let’s just say their
personality, their demeanor, their attitude
make
loving them a challenge
Speaking of challenges, that’s about all the Bible gives us when it
comes
to love
-I used to think that
preaching a sermon on love was not only a
piece
of cake, but that it was soft...like I was letting the church off
awfully
easy
--I’ve come to realize,
however, that love never lets us off easy
We’ve already heard Jesus command us to love our enemies
-and we’ve heard Him give us
examples of what that’s supposed to
look
like
--but we usually reduce
that to pity, maybe...or weaken it to
something
conditional or safe, perhaps
But love won’t allow us to do that
-almost every wedding I’ve
officiated or attended, I’ve read or heard
1 Corinthians 13, “the love chapter”
--and in that context, it all
seems relatively tame
-couples are thinking about the
honeymoon, so when I say, “love is
kind”...they’re
thinking about him opening the car door for her...or
her fixing
him a bowl of ice cream
--and love does include all of that, but it’s just
the bare minimum
-ok, so our newly married couple
will soon find out that kindness
includes
him cleaning the bathroom (including scrubbing the tub
and
the toilet)...and her giving up a shopping trip to the city with
her
friends so she can take care of him when he has the flu
--that’s better, of course,
but it’s still only the beginning
I want you to think again about the faces you saw...the Tunisian
woman,
the Pakistani man, the Nigerian boy, the homeless man
-keep them in mind as I
describe what love looks like
love is patient
with those who do not share my political viewpoints
love is kind
to those who’ve done nothing to deserve my kindness
love does not envy when a rather nasty
coworker gets a promotion
and a
substantial financial compensation increase...even when he
took
credit for your ideas and blatantly lied about the contribution he
made to
the last big project
love does not boast and is not proud when someone pats you on the
back for a job well done
love is not rude when you pass her at the
intersection and even
though everything inside you
wants to scream, “Get a job!”...you
stop, talk with her as a genuine
person, give her some money for
breakfast...and you pray for her
during the remainder of your drive to
work...and you return the next
day with a winter coat you’d been
hanging onto “just in case”
love is not self-seeking...not ever...but
especially in church...there is
simply no place for it here
love is not easily angered...even when your
feelings are hurt...even
when you feel threatened...even
when you are overlooked
love keeps no record of wrongs
because once you start keeping
score, everyone loses
love does not delight in evil...when your rival’s business burns to the
ground, you give her a spare
computer so she can start rebuilding
love rejoices with the truth
despite the fact that the truth may prove
to be inconvenient or worse yet,
harmful
love always protects the dignity,
reputation, and life of others
regardless of the personal costs
love always trusts by
expecting the best from others even if they may
have wronged you in the past
love always hopes, believing
that through the grace of God, love can
make a real difference
love always perseveres
despite the reality that incredible forces will
attempt to weaken, to cheapen,
to compromise, and to destroy it
love never fails regardless
of the situation, regardless of your
feelings, regardless of whether
or not “results” are ever visible
-even when it’s rejected, love
never fails
-even when it’s ignored, love
never fails
-even when it’s ridiculed,
love never fails
-even when it’s unspeakably
risky, love never fails
Can you guess what I’m going to say next?
-it is that kind of love you and
I are to love each other
--not touchy-feely,
mushy-wushy, make-us-feel-all-silly-kinda-love
--but a love that reaches far
beyond our emotions, beyond our
hormones, beyond romance
-you and I are commanded to love each other with a love
that is
patient...kind...not
envious...not boastful...not proud...not rude...not
self-seeking...not easily
angered...doesn’t keep a record of wrongs
suffered...doesn’t delight in
evil...rejoices with the truth...always
protects...trusts...hopes...perseveres...and
never, ever fails
--because, you see, that’s
really the only kind of love there is
Now guess what
-you and I are commanded to love the unlovables with
that same,
exact kind of love
--return to the photos you
saw—who comes to mind first?
---with what excuses do
you counter your uneasy guilt?
I don’t know the
person
-you must take the first
step
--someone who has been
rejected all her life is not going to show
up on your doorstep
--you will need to make the
effort
-“oh,” but you say, “how am I
supposed to get to know that woman
from
--I’ll grant you that...but
there are plenty of available resources
that will enable you to learn...and to
pray...and perhaps your
interest will lead your
Sunday School class to adopt
a special missions
emphasis...and only God knows, but you
may end up leading a
mission trip to
---but it will never
happen unless you first love
I don’t know their
needs
-you must discover them
--in Matthew 25, Jesus tells parable
of the last judgment...and the
difference between the
righteous and the unrighteous is the fact
that righteous saw a
need—someone needed food, someone
else needed clothing,
someone across town needed a friend,
someone desperately
needed to come to church and not sit
alone (ok, Jesus didn’t mention
that last one)
---the point is that
the righteous loved enough to be involved
enough to know the
need and then meet it
--and Jesus says at the end
that when we care for those who can’t
care for themselves, it’s
like we are ministering to Jesus Himself
I can’t love
someone who’s not like me...they look different, talk
differently, dress differently, and smell
differently
-they make me uncomfortable
--shouldn’t one of their
own kind be doing this?
I’m afraid...I
don’t know where that kind of love might lead
-to the mission field also known
as your school...your job
-to a group of people who
seriously scare me—Latinos, gang
members, high school
students—or worse—middle school
students(!)
-to the mission field that knows
no boundaries
Last fall, Trinity Magazine ran a story about a Bible
college professor, named Yohanna Katanacho, who also pastors a small church in
Christ's command in the Sermon
on the Mount to "love your enemies" seemed impossible to Yohanna. And yet there it was—unambiguous and
unchanging. "For me, love was an
active and counter-cultural decision, because I was living in a culture that
promoted hatred of the other," Yohanna says. "And not only did the context promote
hate, but the circumstances fed it on a daily basis—the newspapers, television,
media, neighbors, everything. One of the
markers of the Israeli Jews and the Palestinian Arabs is alienating the other.
To break that marker, I must have some other worldview."
At first, Yohanna tried and failed in his attempts to feel
love. Instead, the Israeli soldiers'
random, daily checks for Palestinian identification cards—sometimes stopping
them for hours—fed Yohanna's fear and anger. As he confessed his inability to God, Yohanna
realized something significant. The
radical love of Christ is not an emotion, but a decision. He decided to show love, however reluctantly,
by sharing the gospel message with the soldiers on the street. With new resolution, Yohanna began to carry
copies of a flyer with him, written in Hebrew and English, with a quotation
from Isaiah 53 and the words "Real Love" printed across the top. Every time a soldier stopped him, he handed
him both his ID card and the flyer. Because the quote came from the Hebrew
Scriptures, the soldier usually asked him about it before letting him go.
After several months of this, Yohanna suddenly noticed his
feelings toward the soldiers had changed. "I was surprised, you
know?" he says. "It was a
process, but I didn't pay attention to that process. My older feelings were not there anymore. I
would pass in the same street, see the same soldiers as before, but now find
myself praying, 'Lord, let them stop me, so that I can share with them
the love of Christ.'"
Frankly, I don’t
think they are worth it
-Read John 3:16
-Read 1 John 3:16-18; 4:8-11,
19-21
-Read Romans 5:8
Aren’t you eternally grateful that God does not feel the same way
about you?