Treasure In Your
Bellybutton
Exodus 20:12
It’s amazing to stand here and look at all of you
-there are different
heights and weights…different eye colors…
different
physical limitations and strengths
-thousands and
thousands of babies will be born today, but no two
will be exactly
alike (even identical twins have their differences)
--God creates us
as unique individuals (some of us are “more
unique”
than others)
While you may not expect me to say this in a message, the
fact itself
will not shock
you: I have a bellybutton (and you have
one, too)
-think about
it: there are billions of these unique
individuals in the
world, but
there’s only one external, physical characteristic we all
have in
common: we all have a bellybutton
--there are
beautiful people who don’t have fingers, arms, legs,
eyes, or
hair…but they all have a bellybutton
-despite current
fashion trends, a bellybutton is not always the
prettiest thing
to look at…actually it’s a scar
--but our
bellybutton serves to remind each one of us:
we didn’t
get here
on our own!
---we’re
tied, as if by some invisible cord, to our mother/father
We can disobey our parents, ignore our parents, hate our
parents
-but thanks to our
bellybutton, God made sure we can never forget
our parents
Remembering our parents is a good place to start
-but it’s tough to
do sometimes, especially as we get older
--middle
school: sports and music and
boyfriends/girlfriends
--high
school: sports and jobs and cars and
boyfriends/girlfriends
---it’s not
that we always intentionally blow them off, but there are
so many
other people in our world, well, sometimes we forget
-after high school,
there might be college…more important jobs and
more important
boyfriends/girlfriends
--then there’s
that first, real “career” kinda’ job
---and it
demands even more of our limited time
--and perhaps
there’s the boyfriend/girlfriend who becomes a
fiancée, then
a spouse…and suddenly you yourself are a parent
---then
there’s 4-H and soccer and family vacations
--and in the
midst of all of this, you still try to maintain some life of
your own…you have hobbies and friends
It’s easy to be so wrapped up in where we are and where
we’re
going, that we
forget from whom we’ve come
-it would break
your heart to hear some of the stories I’ve heard
over the years
--desperate
parents who only want a phone call, card, quick visit
--“Why can’t
she just pick up the phone and ask how I’m doing?”
-they’re not
asking for the world, but they are terrified of being
forgotten
--perhaps
that’s why God gave us bellybuttons
The good news is that for every sad story, there are a dozen
or more
about children who
are intensely devoted to their parents
-who sacrifice
their own wants just to sit beside a bed
-who patiently
listen to the same old stories
-who put their own
lives on hold during an illness
I hope Josh and Hannah treat Carla and me the way so many of
you
treat your parents
-I hope I love my
parents as you love yours
--and not
because it’s a rule, but because it’s my mom and dad
--and because it’s love…and it must be
expressed
But there’s more to this relationship than simply
remembering
Ephesians 6:1 à Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is
right.
God gives us this command in a discussion about family and
society
-the well-being of
the individual and the well-being of society are
directly
connected to the quality of the parent-child relationship
-our bellybuttons
remind us we’re part of something larger than just
our own little world
--we are part
of something crucial God has created and blessed
---we are
part of a family…and within that family, God
establishes order
--He gives
unbelievable responsibility to parents
--but He also
gives parents the authority to carry it out
-when that order is
destroyed either by parents who abandon their
responsibility or
when parents are stripped of their authority, then
our families
will collapse and ultimately our society will collapse
--seriously,
it’s that big of a deal
Why should we obey our parents?
-Ephesians 6:1
à because it is right
--it’s what God
has established
---it’s
built-in to the authority He has granted every parent
-but we also need to
realize most parents have their child’s best
interest at heart
--“Don’t play in
the street” may not be real popular…after all, it
infringes
upon our freedom, but usually our parents’ limits are
for our own
good and can save our lives
---in 15
years of parenting, I have never told my children to do
something just to hurt them
---in 15
years of parenting, I have never told my children “no”
simply to be mean
--and I don’t
personally know a single parent who has
But there’s more to our bellybuttons than remembering not to
forget
and obeying our
parents
There is a definite logic to the Ten Commandments
-the first four deal
with our relationship with God
-the last six deal
with our relationships with others
--not
surprisingly, the first of those six cover children and parents
---this really
is the most basic of human relationships
----not
everyone marries
----not
everyone has children
----but
everyone has parents (biological, adopted, etc.)
As we’ve heard each of the last two Sundays, we are to honor
them
-that involves so
much more than obedience (although it’s certainly
included in honoring)
--at its root, the
Hebrew word “honor” means “to give weight to”
---it means to
give proper consideration, to make valuable, to love
Guess what?
-when the Hebrew Old
Testament was translated into Greek, guess
what Greek word
what chosen to convey the meaning of “honor”?
--it’s the Greek
word that means “to treasure”!
-what a wonderful
understanding of this word and this commandment
Several years ago, when we were still living in La Plata, I
had one of
those moments that
would have been a terrific Hallmark ad
-I told Hannah,
“You are my treasure. Do you know what
that
means?” [No]
-“It means that
you are incredibly valuable to me…you have been
given to your
mom and me and it’s our job to take care of you, to
protect you,
and to love you…you are a treasure worth more
than
gold…more shiny than silver…and more beautiful than
diamonds.”
--I realize
now how corny that may sound, but I wanted her to
know how
deeply I love her
---even
when she disappoints me
---even
when she frustrates me and even angers me
---even
when she makes a huge mistake
----none of those things changes her value
----none of those things can diminish my
love for her
Do you know where this is going?
-that’s exactly how
we are to honor our parents
--even when they
disappoint and frustrate and even anger us
--even when they make
huge mistakes (they occasionally do that!)
How do we honor our parents? (I hope this sounds familiar by now)
*To honor means to value…to protect…to treasure
*To honor means to listen to them
-consider their
words carefully, God’s given them the wisdom of
experience…honestly, they understand more than you imagine
*To honor means to give them time
-stay/go home one
night just to hang out with them
*To honor means to pray
-pray for them to
be better parents…for you to be a better child
*To honor means to respect
-publicly and
privately…failing to do this is seen in your attitude, in
your “looks”,
in your tone of voice, in your silence
*To honor means to trust
-believe they are
looking out for you…even if you disagree, trust
their motives,
trust their heart
*To honor means to forgive their imperfections
*To honor means to develop Christ-like character
-Proverbs 23:24-25 à The father of a righteous man has great
joy; he who has a wise son delights in him.
May your father and mother be glad; may she who gave you birth (a
bellybutton!) rejoice!
Let’s get right to the questions I know some of you are
dying to ask
*Yes, I’m convinced this command applies to everyone
who assumes
parental
responsibility
-so we’re talking
about step-parents, adoptive parents, grandparents
*How do I honor a parent who has passed away?
-you remember
them…photos, stories, mementos
-live in a way that
pleases God…as you carry on their name, as you
live out their
legacy
*How do I honor my parents now than I’m an adult?
-I’ve heard
preachers say they are always your parents and
therefore you
must always obey them
--I agree with
the first part: my parents are always
my parents
--but there
comes a time when that relationship changes
-Genesis 2:24
à For this reason a man will leave his
father and
mother and be
united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
--of course,
your relationship can change before/without marriage
-there’s a transition
from honoring through obedience to honoring
through reverence
--we see that
in Jesus’ life…remember when He was 12, He
stayed
behind in the Temple in Jerusalem
---after
Joseph & Mary find Him, Luke 2:51 à Then He went
down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them.
--of course,
Jesus honored Mary on the cross when He entrusted
her care to
John
-as adults, we honor
our parents by how we talk to and about them,
by providing for
their needs, by remembering them, by teaching
our children to
respect them by our example, by praying for them
*Don’t I get to have a little teenage rebellion? Isn’t it natural?
-the answer is “no”
and “yes”
--no, you are
not entitled to rebellion—not part of the contract
--yes, it’s
natural…but being “natural” does not make it right
---it’s
natural for me to hurt you if you hurt me, but that’s not right
---it’s
simply natural for me to sin—it’s a part of me—but it’s
hardly right
-reject the pop
psychology that promotes “it’s only natural” and that
makes it OK…that
is a lie (always has been, always will be)
*You have no idea what my parents are like behind
closed doors
-you’re right—I
don’t
--some of you
have parents who have messed up your life because
of their messed
up lives
---materialism, workaholic, failed to show affection, alcohol/drugs
--some of have
gone through the betrayal of abuse or neglect
--some never knew
one/both of your parents
---parents
die, parents run off, parents divorce
Again, many psychologists say you have the right to be angry
for your
parents’ failures, and
that for the sake of your mental and emotional
health, you should
express that anger
-that makes logical
sense to me, but it makes no biblical sense
The Bible says you have the God-given ability to show grace
for your
parents’ failures, and
that for the sake of your mental, emotional,
and spiritual
health, you should forgive them
There’s no wiggle room…no exceptions for bad parents
-some of you know
that my Dad and I went 5 years without speaking
--I’m not proud of
that decision
---at the time
it was my way of exacting revenge for how he’d hurt
my mom, my
brother, and me
---he hurt us,
so I’d hurt him
----I
succeeded…it worked…he was hurt…but I was hurt, too
-Dad missed my
college graduation…and I missed him
-Dad missed my
wedding…and I missed him
-Dad missed my graduation
from USAF Officers’ School…and I
missed him
In the end, I hurt him, I hurt me, and I hurt God
-it was never God’s
will for Dad to fail
--yet somehow I
blamed God for not giving me a better father
-I hurt God—not
because I asked him a lot of angry questions—but
because I failed
to honor my father
--God will accept
my questions, my hurt, my tears
--but God cannot
accept my choice not to honor my Dad because
that’s a
sin…and sin breaks God’s heart
We may think by disobeying or dishonoring our parents we are
declaring our
independence…we are proving we’ve grown up
-it only proves we
have the horribly dangerous ability to hurt others
--think about
it: if we can hurt our parents and even
God so easily,
what’s going to keep us from hurting our
spouse, our friends,
our own
children?
As crazy as it sounds, my bellybutton reminds me of the
treasure of
life I’ve been
given
-I didn’t get here
on my own
--a part of them
is a part of me
Are you honoring your parents?
Are you living in such a way that brings them honor?
Do you need to forgive your parents?
Do you need to ask your parents for their forgiveness?
Have you told your parents “I love you” or “thank you”
lately?